When You’re Married to a Good Man

Julie and Bobby Marburger standing next to a tree holding each other

I’m Married to a Good Man!

Today is my wedding anniversary. For three years I have been fortunate to be the wife of a good, good man. I hope you will indulge me this post, as I write about the ways this man has blessed my life. And I also hope you will see why I think he is an example for other husbands to follow in many ways.

Let me start by saying that when I first met Bobby, he wasn’t at all who I thought I was looking for, and initially I wasn’t even attracted to him in any other way than friendship. But I had put my heart in God’s hands, and this is to whom He led me. While I wasn’t sure at first, I kept an open mind. And soon I was able to see some of his character–who he is in his heart. It was then that I fell. And hard.

Like all couples, we’ve been through some high-highs and low-lows together. It’s given me a chance to see more of that character in many situations. The main thing I’ve learned is how absolutely blessed I was to find this man! He is so good to me and for me. I’m so glad I did keep an open mind and let myself get to know him better.

And these are just ten of the things I’ve observed about my Good Man:

He Loves God

One of the first things I noticed about Bobby is his relationship with God. He prays often and truly listens for answers. He tries to do His will, and is not afraid to admit when he has done wrong. He takes me to church and shares spiritual things with me. Truly, he wants to do what is right.

He Makes Me a Priority

Bobby and Julie Marburger smiling for a photo

Just behind God, I am the most important person or thing in Bobby’s life. He shows me this daily by the little things he does, like setting aside time just to talk, cuddle, or do something else we enjoy. He makes sure I know I’m important by taking care of me like you would something precious. For example, he walks on the street side of the walk to protect me from traffic and opens my door to help me out of the car. Sure, he knows I can take care of myself, but he’s just not willing to let me.

After our first date, it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen his phone the entire time. That’s because he’s great about putting it away and concentrating on us. How unusual and refreshing that is in today’s world! 

He Serves Others

On any given day you can pretty much count on finding Bobby pulled over on the side of the road helping someone with their car or going to a person’s house to fix an appliance that’s broken. Or he might be helping a family move or just taking time to teach someone at the gym how to work one of the machines.  He loves helping people. It’s like a hobby for him. I love seeing this compassionate and “Mr. Fixit” side of him. It reminds me that I can do things to help people, too.

He Loves our Children

Our situation did not allow us to have children together, but each of us has four children from a previous marriage. It’s not easy bringing two almost completely grown families together, to say the least. Kids find it hard sometimes to accept a step-parent, and we also go long periods of time not seeing one or more of them.

Bobby is so patient with this situation. He goes out of his way to make sure I get opportunities to spend time with my kids. He is good about keeping in touch with his kids and asks almost every day if I’ve had a chance to talk to mine. He is genuinely interested in their lives and does kind things for them, just because they are part of me. He also does what he can to include me in his kids’ lives. He compliments me on the job I’ve done as a mother and asks and gives advice as a parent.

He Treats My Parents With Honor

One of the most wonderful things about our relationship is how well Bobby gets along with my parents. He is comfortable spending time with them and shows them respect. When my mom expressed the desire to lose weight and get in better shape, Bobby offered to be her personal trainer. He teaches her how to do different exercises and eat better, and he is constantly giving her encouragement and positive feedback. It shows maturity and security in himself when your spouse supports you in your other relationships!

He Cares for Our Home

While we’re pretty traditional in our gender roles, Bobby is not at all shy about pitching in when there’s housework to be done. The chore I absolutely hate most is laundry, so he has basically taken this on as his own. It always makes me feel so loved when I put on freshly-washed and clean-smelling clothes that I didn’t wash myself! He also helps me clean our home each week, and usually insists on doing the “gross jobs” like cleaning the toilet.

One of the things I appreciate most is that Bobby is handy with fixing things, too. Things don’t stay broken long in our house! Whether it’s repairing our water heater or replacing a latch on a cabinet door, I can count on it getting done right away.

He Makes Me Feel Beautiful

Julie and Bobby Marburger in wedding clothes walking down stairs

If he’s noticed that I’ve “fluffed up” a little since our wedding, Bobby never lets on. He often stops me and says, “You purty!” Or he’ll look at me when I’m getting undressed like I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. He knows I don’t have very good body image, so he’ll tell me all the time that he can see changes in me after I’ve been working out. He compliments my outfit or my hair and loves to go on “dress up” dates where he can “show me off.”  Because he shows me, I’m convinced I am beautiful and want to take care of myself for him.

He Supports My Endeavors

I’m the kind of person who always has a lot on my plate. My head is full of crazy ideas for new things I want to try and goals I want to reach. Bobby is always willing to help me in whatever I’m doing. Whether I need to create something or just bounce ideas off someone, he is always there to help however he can. Just the other day he bought me a new tool I needed to try an idea I’ve had for a new product I want to create for my Etsy shop.

But he also helps ground me and calm the chaos I tend to cause myself. He’ll remind me to take a break or set something aside that is causing me stress. He helps me see the things that are working for me and focus more on them.

He Strives to Be Better and Helps Me, Too

Bobby is trying to become a better person by improving himself in several areas. He always pushes himself physically to be healthy and fit. We love working out together and doing physical activities outdoors. He teaches and encourages me to always do more. He likes to learn new things and recently became certified as a Drone Pilot so he could pursue a new hobby and retirement profession. He always talks about how he likes having a teacher for a wife and lets me teach him things. We have also set goals together in several areas and encourage each other to work on them.

One thing I appreciate is that Bobby helps me see when I’m wrong about something without criticizing or complaining. His patience encourages me to see another side or change my thinking or behavior.

He Makes Life Fun

Bobby and Julie Marburger standing in front of an ancient Indian run at Mesa Verde National Park
Mesa Verde National Park

Never a day goes by that I don’t laugh at some crazy thing Bobby does or says. He loves to crack jokes or be playful just for me. He likes to play games, watch movies, and go do all kinds of fun things. I tend to be pretty serious and work myself to death, but he is teaching me to relax, have fun, and enjoy life.

He is happy to share his hobbies with me and has also been a very good sport about trying out some things that I like. We have developed some new interests together and just genuinely enjoy spending time together.

A Good Man Doesn’t Have to be Perfect

Bobby would be the first to say he isn’t perfect. And that’s okay. Perfection isn’t what I’m looking for. Honest effort with the right intentions are what’s important. Beyond that, any mistakes or faults can be worked on, forgiven, or overlooked.

When You’re Married to a Good Man

Even though it still has trials, stresses, and even tragedies, life is great when you’re married to a good man. This is because you know you have an ally that has your back. You have someone to hold you together when you don’t feel like you can cope. You have a partner that shares with you in making the big decisions. You always have a best friend to have fun with, and a lover to whom you can give the deepest parts of your heart. This person brings out your best and makes you want to be better.

Being married to a good man makes all the difference.

What’s your experience?

What are the good qualities your partner has? What do they do that makes your life better? What have you done lately to show your appreciation?  Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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